Once you go through the process of a divorce or any separation between parents, it is important to have a custody schedule to avoid any conflict in the future. One of the hardest decisions to make is which holidays the kids spend with each parent. Sometimes this argument over holiday custody can lead to an even bigger legal issue down the line. Holidays are meant to be a joyful time, especially for young children, because they will grow up and remember the holidays. Creating a clear and fair child-focused holiday custody schedule can reduce any conflict and make the holidays fun for everyone involved. If you have questions about a child custody or other family law matter, our Arlington, TX child custody lawyer is available to talk.
Here is what you need to know about holiday custody arrangements.
What Is A Holiday Custody Schedule?
A holiday custody schedule is a plan where the parents outline the shared time they will have with their children during specific holidays and school breaks (spring break, winter break, and summer vacation). Common holidays covered are: Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Day, Hanukkah, New Year’s Eve and Day, Mother’s Day/Father’s Day, Birthdays, and cultural/religious holidays. Also, we can’t forget school breaks, like I mentioned earlier in this blog post. Every family is different, but some common ways to split holiday custody are by alternating holidays each year, splitting the day, double celebrations, and travel-based rotations.
Alternating holidays means taking turns having the kids for the holidays, like having a certain number of holidays to be with Parent A and the rest for Parent B. Other options are, for example, Christmas; one parent can spend Christmas with the kids either on even years and the other parent in odd years, or alternate every year. Another option can be splitting the day of holidays, like Parent A has the morning and Parent B gets the afternoon/evening. Some families celebrate the holiday on different days, especially if one parent observes different traditions, which are double celebrations. Lastly, if the parents live far away from one another, holidays may rotate every other year just because it may work best for the parents. At the end of the day, every family is different and so is the schedule of custody.
Tips To Make Holiday Custody Work Smoothly
Some tips we can offer you to make the holiday custody work smoothly are:
- Plan early
- Put it in writing (legally/notarized)
- Flexibility
- Put the children’s experience first
Planning early is important because courts often require holiday schedules to be set months in advance. Don’t wait until the last minute to figure it out because it can lead to potential legal issues down the road with the other parent involved. Having everything written in a document and signed by both parties is also very essential because even if you both are on good terms, a formal agreement can prevent any misinformation. Part of your duty as a co-parent is being reasonable because life happens. Unexpected circumstances can occur, such as illness, emergencies, and traveling issues, so being flexible and understanding can help maintain that peace within the parents. These tips all tie into my last point, which is to put your children first. As parents, we know that you want what is best for your child, and the goal is to give your child happy memories and not feel torn.
What If There’s A Disagreement?
The question presents: what if there’s a disagreement? If you and your co-parent cannot agree on a holiday schedule, it is best to refer to your parenting plan, mediation, or court modification. Most court-approved parenting plans include the holidays. Mediation is a neutral third party that can help find a solution to any disagreements without going to court. If your parenting plan or mediation is not helping, the last resort would be court modification. You would have to take the court modification route if your current schedule isn’t working. Here at our firm, our attorneys can help you request a modification.
How Courts Decide Holiday Custody
When you take the court route, they decide for you any custody arrangements, even if you agree or disagree with the decisions the judge makes. Judges put the child’s best interest and safety first, so when it comes to creating the holiday custody schedule, they consider the child’s age/needs, any traditions celebrated, travel burdens, the parents’ ability to cooperate, and any sibling relationships. While court-ordered schedules are meant to be fair and child-focused, they can feel rigid and impersonal. Especially when compared to custom agreements worked out privately through mediation or collaborative divorce. That’s why many families try to resolve holiday arrangements outside of court when possible. But if that’s not an option, it’s important to be prepared and understand that the judge’s decision will reflect what they believe serves the child, not necessarily what works best for the parents.
Need Help Creating Or Modifying A Holiday Custody Schedule?
At Brandy Austin Law Firm, we’ve helped hundreds of families create clear, balanced parenting plans which include holiday schedules that work for both parents and kids. Whether you’re newly separated or dealing with an uncooperative co-parent, we can guide you toward a peaceful resolution. Contact us today for a consultation.