As anyone who has gone through a divorce knows, there is no way to predict which marriages will work and which ones will end in divorce. There are a multitude of reasons why couples decide to end a marriage. Some reasons are common; other are not. A multitude of divorce studies have shown a pattern, however, of how some of the events that may occur in a couple’s relationship may be the catalyst of what drives them apart and ultimately finds them seeking the assistance of divorce lawyers.
Birth of a Child
One life event which can wreak havoc on a couple’s marriage may be surprising —the birth of a child. Having a baby, and all that goes with it, can cause couples to disconnect from one another. In one study, researchers found that almost 70 percent of couples became dissatisfied in their marriage within the first three years of the birth of a baby.
Another life event which can greatly affect a marriage is when circumstances cause a couple to live apart. This has been especially true for military families, especially for service members who have face many long-term deployments to the Middle East.
In fact, studies have shown that the divorce rate is almost 30 percent higher for couples where one spouse was in the military and had been deployed, compared to the rate for other military couples prior to 9/11 when this country did not have any significant long-term military operations that required deployment of our troops. Female service members were particularly hit hard, with higher divorce rates than their male counterparts.
Moreover, it is not just military couples who struggle with marriage breakups when living apart. Other factors, such as jobs or family obligations, can put an irreparable strain on a marriage.
When one spouse loses or changes his or her job, it can significantly impact a couple’s lifestyle — changes in schedules, income, and security may cause overwhelming stress and result in a couple divorcing.
Multiple studies have found that men who are out of work are more apt to leave their lives than those who are employed. The study also found that women are more likely to divorce unemployed husbands than employed husbands.
Other life events which can cause a couple to reevaluate their marriage include illness or when children grow up and go off on their own.
Going through a life event does not mean that you will soon be filing for divorce. In fact, knowing what may be the cause of your marital dissatisfaction is a huge step in trying to solve the issues. Many married couples who are facing these same issues often turn to couples counseling to work through what may be stressful times. Instead of ending their marriage, they discover ways to work together as a team to get through stressful times.
For those couples who decide that divorce really is there only option, couples counseling can actually help them with communication and other skills that help make their divorce go much more smoothly and give them a good foundation for co-parenting together.
Thank you to our friends and contributors at Scroggins Family Law, PLLC for their knowledge about divorce.